BBC interview

Consumate professionals like myself can do BBC interviews with our eyes closed – and yesterday was no different. Draining my glass of Pimms and keeping my eyeballs out of sight of the camera, I was assured of the nation’s close attention while I banged on to BBC Radio Berkshire about my commission for the Royal Household.

I suspect it is only a matter of time before it is hung on the wall of the downstairs lavatory at Kensington Palace.